Why I decided Not to Go to Medical School

Hi Guys! 

I decided to dive into a deeper topic that I just briefly touched on in the introduction. In the past year, I decided that I was not going to go to medical school. At least, not yet, and I wanted to explain why. 

I first decided to go to medical school when I was in community college and my husband (who was just my boyfriend at the time) and I had planned on becoming DINKs. My interest in medicine started when I was taking Psychology and learning about how complex the human brain is. From the moment I started reading about the structures of synapses, I was hooked. 

I even went to a 6 week pre-med program where I attended lectures on physics, biology, microbiology and got CPR certified. I shadowed a vascular surgeon and saw how much her patients respected her, and I wanted that. 

But when I got home from the program after being away from my husband for six weeks, he and I started talking about the possibility of having kids. Slowly, ever so slowly, we were changing our minds about wanting them. It was "Oh, maybe we'll have one or two" to the current position of wanting 4-5! 

That is when the war started in my head, and I really had to think deeply about my decision to go to medical school. I knew that having a child while going through medical school would be difficult, especially since my husband and I don't really have  many reliable family members to help us in times of need.  There would be no great support system, and with the both of us going to school, how would we afford it? 

The second question was: Did I really want my kids to be raised by someone else? Some nanny I was paying X amount of dollars an hour? Medical school is a huge time commitment and I would not have a lot of time to spend with my children. Even when I did spend time with them, I would probably be exhausted or stressed and I wouldn't be able to give them my full attention. 

As I stated before, I know that there are women out there who have children while going through medical school. They obviously make it work. But for me, I just didn't want to take that kind of time away from my kids. I'm too selfish. 

I also think that part of the reason I wanted to go to medical school in the first place is because I wanted to prove that I could. That I was smart enough. I haven't always had the best self-esteem or believed in myself and I felt like if I could make it through medical school, it would prove to everyone that I was worth something. I have grown in the course of my relationship with my husband, and honestly, I no longer need that validation. As long as he and I are happy, I don't need to prove my worth to anyone. And what would make me happy is having a few children that I could really devote all my time to. 

Society as a whole spreads the message that women should be strong and independent, able to take care of themselves. They should be able to do anything a man can do. Have we ever asked ourselves...why? Women and men are different biologically. We are programmed for different things. We have less muscle mass, we have boobs for breastfeeding, and we have wombs for babies to grow in. Why should we try to prove that we can do everything a man can do, when what we are able to do is so amazing? 

What I'm trying to say is, I think that having and raising children to be upstanding members of the community is just as important as being a doctor. Just as important as being a lawyer. Since we have not yet discovered the formula for immortality, having and raising the next generation of our species is crucial. 

I don't need to go to medical school in order to be a useful human being. It took me a long time and a lot of soul-searching to realize that. 


Thanks for listening. 

-D.