The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle: An Honest Review

Hi Guys! 

Dawn here. :) For today's blog, I am going to be giving an honest review of the book The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle. I saw an interview that Red Ice Radio did with the author and I was intrigued enough to buy two of her books. The other book that I bought is titled The Surrendered Wife. I have just started reading it and if there is enough interest, I will review that one next! 

On to the review. 

First of all, I would like to say that most of her advice on having a good marriage is common sense. Don't nag your husband, don't criticize him, and respect him were three main points that I took away from the book. Most women know not to nag or criticize already, but sometimes it's really good to have a reminder because we may not know that we are doing them! 

I really love the enthusiasm in the writing, and I believe that she is truly passionate about ending world divorce. In the book, she outlines 6 skills that women can adopt in order to have a 'playful, peaceful, and intimiate' relationship with their husbands. I don't think all of these skills will necessarily work for every single couple, but I also don't think that any of them have the ability to hurt, either. I would encourage every woman who reads my blog to read this book and play with the ideas within in order to see if they work for them. Another thing I enjoyed about the book was that she used examples from many women who had put the 6 skills into practice and shared the results that they got with their husbands. This helped drive the message home on how to apply the skills and how effective they are. 

She is a big advocate for self-care and she asserts that it would be a good idea for wives to make time for themselves three times a day to make themselves happy. This piece of advice definitely makes sense, because if you are so busy taking care of everyone else that you neglect yourself, you can get frazzled and short-tempered. If you are in a good mood from having relaxed with a book or a hot bath, you are less likely to enter into avoidable arguments with your spouse. 

There is one really good exercise that she includes in the very end of the book that I personally loved. She said to write down all of the reasons that you love your husband. At first, I struggled to think of anything besides the fact that he's funny, smart and caring but when I really started to think about it, things just kept pouring out. At the end, I came up with 25 unique reasons why I love my husband and my feelings were so strong in that moment that I started crying. Tears of happiness, of course. I am going to let him read the list when he gets home, but I am keeping it as a daily reminder of why I married him. 

I do have one criticism of the book, and that is the fact that she claims that men love women more than women love men. I certainly can't know how she feels, but I know that I love my husband a great deal, so I take...issue with the fact that she would say the he loves me more than I love him. 

Other than that one little claim, I absolutely enjoyed the book and I think that every woman aspiring to be a traditional wife should read it. 


Thanks for listening to my ramblings. 

-D. 

Let's Make Something Clear

Hi Guys. 

Notice there is no exclamation point at the end of that sentence like there usually is. Today I want to talk to you about something important and it is definitely more of a serious topic. 

I have had a few conversations with girls that were a little disturbing. We are here today to talk about a hot topic: the relationship dynamic between a husband and a wife. Whoo. This is big. Do I pretend to be an expert on this? No, I am not. I just know from experience what works for me and my husband, that has brought us four years of extreme happiness. 

Here's what I think: A man and a woman who decide to join their lives together in the union of marriage enter the relationship as partners. They each bring something to the table; the man promises to do what he can to provide for his wife, and in return she promises to birth and raise their children and manage the home. I do not think that one is more important than the other, I think they are equal. 

If my husband tells me to do something, I don't blindly follow his orders. I think about it, and if it seems like a reasonable request, I do it. I do NOT think think a woman should be a slave to her husband. I don't think she should just meekly accept whatever he tells her to do, even if she disagrees. 

I love and respect my husband. He is a smart man, and that's part of why I married him. I know him well enough to know that he will never ask me to do something he feels will harm me in any way. He will never ask me to do something that he knows is against my morals. So while I trust him to take care of me, that doesn't mean I am never going to question his decisions. I do not think that women are just cattle to be bred. We have emotions and we have opinions. If your partner loves and respects you as much as you do him, he will listen to what you have to say, think on it, and then either argue or agree. 

There are certain types of relationships *cough* (kinky) where the woman willingly submits to being a male's slave. The key word there is WILLINGLY. We should never be forced to do a man's bidding. 

As partners, both the man and the woman should have an equal say in the relationship. There should be mutual respect, trust, and love. That is how my relationship with Mr. Dawn has survived. Usually, I do let him take the lead, but I will not be a doormat. I won't lie down and accept something if I strongly disagree with it. My husband doesn't want a 'yes' woman, he wants someone he can have interesting conversations with. 

All that being said, I do things for him because I love him. I make him coffee in the morning because I want to. I keep the house clean because I don't want him to have to worry about anything when he gets home. I cook his food, knowing that he is tired from work. Marriage should be a compromise, not a prison. You should be trying to show your spouse that you love them every day. 


There is a book that encapsulates what I think the ideal relationship between a man and a woman should be, which I will link below. 

Thanks for listening. 


-D. 

https://www.amazon.com/Donts-Wives-Blanche-Ebbutt/dp/0713687908/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497685526&sr=8-1&keywords=don%27t+for+wives

Oh the Laziness

Hi Guys! 

Dawn here. As you can tell from the title of this post, I am here today to talk about laziness and suggest ways to combat it. 

When you are staying at home, it can be easy-trust me-REALLY easy to slip into a pattern where you don't get anything done. Where you don't change out of your pajamas, you sit around all day and play on your laptop or you binge on Netflix. I have definitely been guilty of this! Even now, I write this post in my nightgown, hair unwashed and the clean clothes just sitting there in the hamper waiting to be put away. 
Here are some ways that I can think of to break away from this pattern, and these are things that I do to keep me from being lazy. 

1. At the very beginning of the day, make a to-do list. Write down all the things that need to be done around the house, such as do the dishes, wipe down the counters, exercise. I have found personally that this helps a bunch, as I feel obligated to scratch things off of the list. It can also feel exciting to physically scratch something off of a list! 

2. Put on some high-energy music or videos. If I'm having a tough time getting through the housework, I blast some music that really gets me moving and dancing around. This will make doing the mundane tasks fun. 

3. Think about your husband. Ladies, they go out and they work their butts off for us. Staying at home is a privilege and NOT a right. In exchange for getting to stay home, we must keep our houses a clean, relaxing haven for our husbands to come home to when they get off of work. So if you are struggling to get up off of the couch or out of your bed, just remember what your husband has to do in order for you to be able to do that. 

4. Give yourself a day of rest throughout the week, or at least make it a really light cleaning day. If you are exhausted from all of the housework that you did throughout the week, don't be afraid to give yourself one day a week where you get to veg out on the couch. If this helps you to get it all out of your system or acts as a refresher, feel free! But only allow yourself that one day to get nothing done. 

These are things that I do that really help me stay on top of all of the housework. I make a to-do list every single day and I feel extremely satisfied when I get to cross things off the list. Of course, there are other things you can do to combat laziness, do whatever works for you! 

Thanks for listening. 

-D. 

Appreciating your loved ones

Hey guys! 

Dawn here. Like my housework, I have neglected to blog the past couple of days. It's not that I forgot, I just didn't feel inspired. That happens sometimes. I really didn't know what to say. 

I've been doing the bare necessities every day to make sure the house is straightened, like the dishes, the laundry, etc. but I haven't really done any detail work until today. Today I actually picked myself up and scrubbed the things that needed scrubbing and I made my husband's lunches for the rest of the week. 

I find myself..a little empty without having a tiny mouth to feed. This has been one of the days where I really wanted to have a little kid around to keep me company, but then I remind myself that the reason I'm staying home is so that I can get de-stressed before we try to get pregnant. I also have a personal fitness goal that I want to achieve before we start trying. 

I feel like my marriage is better than ever. It definitely helps that one of us is always well-rested so that if he has a hard day and he's a bit snappy with me, I can give him all of my patience and understanding. When I was working, I'd be just as exhausted and liable to snap back at him, which is never a good thing. 

We went to see Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 in theaters on Saturday night! It was so fun. We hid some snacks in my purse, I got all dolled up in a dress and some makeup, and my husband took so long to get ready that we were a few minutes late! Luckily the previews were still playing so we didn't miss any of the movie. 

I can't stress this enough, ladies, if you are staying at home, make sure that you still have date night with the husband. It doesn't have to be a movie or even anything too expensive. Maybe you could make a meal that you both really enjoy, stay in, rent a movie from redbox (only $1-$3) and just enjoy each other's company. 

For the first few anniversaries that my husband and I celebrated, all we did was get a bottle of wine, a pie, and watched a movie. That was perfectly fine with us. I am reminded every day of why I married my husband. Maybe it's something he says...or the way that he looks at me. Maybe it's the cute facial expression that he makes when he's frustrated or thinking deeply about something. 

Of course there have been arguments. Hurt feelings. But when you really love someone, you don't give up. You do everything that you can to make it work. I would like nothing more than to bring my husband's children into the world. I can't wait for the moment that I get to place our little miracle into my husband's arms and see the look on his face. I know he is going to be a wonderful father. 

I am going to sign off before I get too emotional, but please. If you are reading this, hug your spouse today. Give them an extra kiss. Appreciate them while you can. This life is fleeting. 

As always, thanks for listening. 


-D. 

Why I decided Not to Go to Medical School

Hi Guys! 

I decided to dive into a deeper topic that I just briefly touched on in the introduction. In the past year, I decided that I was not going to go to medical school. At least, not yet, and I wanted to explain why. 

I first decided to go to medical school when I was in community college and my husband (who was just my boyfriend at the time) and I had planned on becoming DINKs. My interest in medicine started when I was taking Psychology and learning about how complex the human brain is. From the moment I started reading about the structures of synapses, I was hooked. 

I even went to a 6 week pre-med program where I attended lectures on physics, biology, microbiology and got CPR certified. I shadowed a vascular surgeon and saw how much her patients respected her, and I wanted that. 

But when I got home from the program after being away from my husband for six weeks, he and I started talking about the possibility of having kids. Slowly, ever so slowly, we were changing our minds about wanting them. It was "Oh, maybe we'll have one or two" to the current position of wanting 4-5! 

That is when the war started in my head, and I really had to think deeply about my decision to go to medical school. I knew that having a child while going through medical school would be difficult, especially since my husband and I don't really have  many reliable family members to help us in times of need.  There would be no great support system, and with the both of us going to school, how would we afford it? 

The second question was: Did I really want my kids to be raised by someone else? Some nanny I was paying X amount of dollars an hour? Medical school is a huge time commitment and I would not have a lot of time to spend with my children. Even when I did spend time with them, I would probably be exhausted or stressed and I wouldn't be able to give them my full attention. 

As I stated before, I know that there are women out there who have children while going through medical school. They obviously make it work. But for me, I just didn't want to take that kind of time away from my kids. I'm too selfish. 

I also think that part of the reason I wanted to go to medical school in the first place is because I wanted to prove that I could. That I was smart enough. I haven't always had the best self-esteem or believed in myself and I felt like if I could make it through medical school, it would prove to everyone that I was worth something. I have grown in the course of my relationship with my husband, and honestly, I no longer need that validation. As long as he and I are happy, I don't need to prove my worth to anyone. And what would make me happy is having a few children that I could really devote all my time to. 

Society as a whole spreads the message that women should be strong and independent, able to take care of themselves. They should be able to do anything a man can do. Have we ever asked ourselves...why? Women and men are different biologically. We are programmed for different things. We have less muscle mass, we have boobs for breastfeeding, and we have wombs for babies to grow in. Why should we try to prove that we can do everything a man can do, when what we are able to do is so amazing? 

What I'm trying to say is, I think that having and raising children to be upstanding members of the community is just as important as being a doctor. Just as important as being a lawyer. Since we have not yet discovered the formula for immortality, having and raising the next generation of our species is crucial. 

I don't need to go to medical school in order to be a useful human being. It took me a long time and a lot of soul-searching to realize that. 


Thanks for listening. 

-D. 

A day in the life of Dawn

Hi guys! 

Dawn here. I thought I would let you guys know what my day's been like so far. 

I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off and HOLY HECK-my right leg was hurting pretty bad. I had been on the treadmill for two hours the day before and the muscle in my right hip was sore. 

Important lesson: ALWAYS STRETCH. I could not find a comfortable position, either lying down or sitting. Thankfully, as I'm writing this, it's gone away but it did bug me for more than a few hours. 

My husband, (for the purposes of this blog, we'll call him Mr. Dawn) always thinks that he can get ready for work in ten minutes. In reality, it takes him around thirty. So when he started getting ready for work twenty minutes before he was supposed to be there, I was worried he was going to be late. I did everything for him that I could possibly do, such as getting his lunch ready and putting his keys and wallet on the counter in the kitchen. The rest he had to do for himself. 

He hasn't gotten home yet, so I still don't know if he was actually late or not. 

As for the housework, that took me about an hour. Since I cleaned the apartment really good last week over the course of several days, all I've had to do this week is maintenance clean. That means wiping down the counters in the kitchen, doing what little dishes have been dirtied, and putting in a load of laundry. 

This is my third week as a housewife, and I have already settled into a pattern. Since I want to be completely honest in the blog, there are some pros and cons that I've noticed so far. 

Pros: I don't think I can say just how relaxing it is getting to stay at home. My former job was incredibly stressful physically and I would always be sore and tired. Since I quit my job, I've gotten plenty of sleep and the only soreness I get now is from exercise. 

Another big pro for me is that I get to devote time to making sure everything is taken care of for Mr. Dawn. Nothing makes me happier than to make sure that Mr. Dawn has his coffee when he wakes up, his lunch packed for work and his dinner made. I love him very much and I want nothing more than to make his life as easy as possible. 

On the flip side of the coin, there have been two cons that I have noticed. 

The first is the BOREDOM. Ladies, if you become a housewife, you will need to pick up a hobby or have plenty of books to read. I often find myself with nothing to do, which I know will disappear once we have a child. Right now, this is a good opportunity for self-improvement. I can study subjects that I'm interested in and spend time trying to increase my level of fitness. 

The second con is money. Mr. Dawn and I really have to make sure that the things we are buying are absolutely necessary. I had to create a budget that we have to stick to. We don't have as much excess income as we used to, but this way, we are not wasting our money on things we don't need. 

As for right now, I am writing this blog as a way to pass the time until Mr. Dawn gets home so we can spend some time together. This is the beginning of his three day weekend, so hopefully we can plan some fun outing for the two of us. 

Thanks for listening. 

-D.